The holidays are a time of joy, reflection, and connection—or at least, that’s the idea. For many, this season can also bring stress, especially if you’re in a marriage that isn’t working. The question of whether to file for divorce now or wait until after the holidays is a common one, and it’s not easy to answer.
This decision involves emotional, practical, and even financial considerations, and the right choice will look different for everyone. Let’s unpack the factors to help you figure out what’s best for you as the holidays approach.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed or unhappy in your marriage, the holidays can amplify those emotions. Family gatherings, gift exchanges, and festive traditions may highlight the cracks in your relationship or bring unresolved issues to the surface. However, waiting to file for divorce doesn’t mean you’re stuck, it means you have an opportunity to plan.
Setting realistic expectations can be helpful. The holidays don’t have to be perfect, and letting go of that pressure can ease the burden. Prioritizing mental health is equally important—whether through journaling, therapy, or simply carving out quiet time for yourself. Spending time with supportive friends or family can remind you that you’re not alone, even if the season feels particularly heavy.
Divorce often involves financial strain, and the timing of when you file can have an impact. The holidays, with their added expenses for gifts, travel, and events, might already stretch your budget. Waiting until the new year could offer some breathing room to handle these costs without the added layer of divorce-related expenses.
It’s worth thinking about how your holiday spending aligns with your current financial situation. This might include considering shared traditions like gift-giving or travel. Tax implications may also play a role so consult a financial expert regarding taxation issues. For some, starting fresh in January allows more room for financial planning and budgeting as they transition into a new chapter.
For parents, one of the most significant concerns about filing during the holidays is how it might affect their children. The holiday season often holds special meaning for kids, and introducing a major life change at this time can feel overwhelming for everyone involved.
Maintaining certain traditions, even as things change, can provide a sense of stability for children. For instance, keeping a favorite holiday activity or ritual alive can offer comfort during a period of adjustment. When it comes to sharing news about divorce, the timing and approach matter. Thoughtful, calm communication can make a difficult conversation easier for children to process.
The bigger picture often brings perspective. Even if the immediate transition is challenging, creating a healthier environment benefits everyone in the long run. The holidays might feel different, but they can still be meaningful.
Sometimes you have reached your limit and filing for divorce before the holidays can offer a sense of a path forward, allowing you to step into the new year with a new path. For some, the finality of filing for divorce after wanting out for an extended period can help reduce holiday-related tension in their marriage, making the season feel less strained. It is important to take into consideration the reaction of the other partner if filing during the holidays. An unexpected divorce filing during the holidays is never a good idea for peace during the holidays. However, if both you and your partner know and agree that the marriage is over, it is helpful to start establishing new routines before the year ends. Agreeing to file before the end of the year might, in some circumstances, make the holidays smoother, as boundaries and expectations become clearer.
On the other hand, waiting until January has its own advantages. Many people feel a desire to preserve the holiday spirit for the sake of their family or children. This season can also be an opportunity to focus on meaningful time with loved ones, even as changes loom on the horizon. Most people also believe that maybe the downtime and holidays can help the parties repair their relationship. Hope springs eternal.
For those navigating a hectic end-of-year schedule, delaying the divorce process until the new year can offer more time and mental clarity to handle legal matters. The quieter post-holiday period might make it easier to approach the process thoughtfully.
Deciding when to file for divorce is deeply personal and depends on your unique circumstances. Whether you choose to file during the holidays or wait until after, there’s no right or wrong answer—only what feels right for you.
Take time to reflect on what matters most during this season. Consider whether preserving the current dynamics feels important or if beginning the process sooner offers you greater peace. The holidays can be a time to pause, reassess, and think about the path forward that aligns with your well-being.
The holidays are just one part of a larger journey. While divorce is undoubtedly a significant change, it also opens the door to growth and new beginnings. As you move forward, focus on the small moments that bring joy—a quiet cup of coffee, a walk in the park, or meaningful conversations with friends.
This holiday season, whether you’re navigating traditions or creating new ones, remember that brighter days lie ahead. The road may not always be easy, but it’s one filled with opportunity for healing and renewal. The best part is you get to make your next story whatever you want it to be - so get started in the New Year.